Remember Me
by selizabetha01
Summary: She was the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with and that was why he married her. When Derek called out, "where is she?" in 2x17 he had been looking for Meredith, but then holding Addie in his arms reminded him of who she is and how much he still loves her no matter what they're going through. One shot.


Admittedly, when the words, _'where is she?'_ fell from Derek's lips, it _had _been Meredith he was calling out in search of. But as soon as Addison came around that corner, as soon as she flung herself into his arms and he heard her whispering, "you're okay, you're alive, you're okay," repeatedly, he wasn't sure if she was talking to him or simply reassuring herself. Then he registered the tone of her voice, the way she was holding him and not letting go. She sounded so lost, so fearful and yet so relieved.

Was this how she had been when she realised he had left? He'd never thought about it before. Addison had always seemed so strong to him, like she never needed anybody and no one saw her as weak. She had her bad days, just like everyone else, she threw her tantrums, could fake a smile when she needed to but now Derek wondered just how long his wife had been faking that smile of hers and how long he hadn't been looking or paying enough attention to tell.

This was the moment, the moment when he realised that although he meant what he said about loving Meredith and that feeling not just simply disappearing, his love for Addie couldn't vanish either. He had blocked it out for so long, acted like it didn't exist, like seeing her every day didn't _hurt _because it wasn't the same as it used to be but if he said he didn't love Addie anymore, he'd be a liar of the worst kind.

It was impossible to fully push away the memories he had with Addie. She had been, and was still, his best friend, no matter how their lives or marriage had turned out. Addie was the one who had made him laugh until his face hurt, threatened to push him over the side of _'a god damned ferry boat', _when took teasing her a little too far. She was the one who had told him to _'man up' _and get the hell out of the house when he said he had man flu and was taking the day off work, but then she was the one to kiss him on the forehead and hand him a flask of hot chicken soup anyway.

She was the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with and that was why he married her. And when he became uncertain that she felt the same way, he had picked up and ran. But seeing her like this, being the one to bring her the comfort she desperately needed, being the only one who could give it, Derek knew without a doubt in his mind that he had been wrong because just like he couldn't make himself stop loving his wife, she couldn't make herself stop loving her husband.

He made a vow then that he would try, really try this time. He knew there was something worth fighting for now and he wasn't going to let that go. When he clutched Addie that little bit tighter, when he pulled her completely into him and turned his head into her red sea of hair and closed his eyes, he heard her gasp. She knew too, he was fighting for them, for her.

When Derek lifted a hand he felt Addie tense as if he had changed his mind and was going to pull away and reject her. Instead, he dove his hand into that sea and gently ran his fingers through it. Everything became easy. He felt Addie relax for the first time in what felt like years; she melted into him with her head on his shoulder. He could feel the dampness of her eyes against his neck from the tears that she would not let fall and the softness of her lashes. This was it. Times had been hard but she was _it_ for him. He couldn't let her go.

Walking away from Addie had seemed like the right thing to do at the time but now Derek tried to imagine her walking away from him and he was struck with an almost surprising pain in his chest.

So Derek pulled his hand from her hair and lifted her face upwards. He caught a glimpse of her eyes and the hope in them, the love, the wonder. She was praying that he might still love her in the way she still loved him, if only she knew. Standing here, holding his wife, looking at her in a way he hadn't for a long time, the rest of the hospital disappeared. Only they existed, only they mattered.

Derek brushed his lips against hers but he didn't kiss her, not yet. He inhaled, taking in her scent, allowing the feeling of having her close to him to wash away the bad memories of the last year. Then, finally, with her arms still wrapped around him and her chin still cupped between his thumb and forefinger, Derek kissed Addison. It was slow, it was longing and desperate, it was full of their love. The feel of her skin moulded against his didn't make him feel like a great surgeon, or somebody's hot one night stand, or a guy who lived in a trailer. It made him feel alive, it made him feel human.

When they finally broke apart it was all Addie could do to _look_ at him. When Derek smiled at her, her own mouth twitched at the corners with uncertainty and then couldn't help but smiling back.

This time when Addie smiled, Derek knew it was real. This wasn't her fake _'I don't need you or anyone else' _smile, this was Addie, pure, and simple, and exposed.

"I love you," she whispered.

Derek saw them, the tears she had tried to hold in and hide, they were there on her cheeks now, glistening beneath the harsh lights of the hospital floor.

Addison, who was so powerful, so strong, Addison who didn't need anyone but herself was crying. Crying because she loved him, because he was here, and they were alive, and they were together.

Derek rested his forehead against hers and sighed as the bustling hospital came back into the front of his mind. People, patients, doctors, nurses, loved ones were all rushing this way and that, to get to their beds, to get to their friends, to find each other. No one was paying attention to Derek and Addie anymore. It didn't matter. Only they were enough. Just being together was enough.

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**Hrm, if only... Let me know what you think with a review! Even just one word can make me happy.**


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